Blog Tour + Giveaway: Psycho Inside Me by Bonnie Paulson

15 January 2014

Release date: November 30th 2013
Publisher: Captiva Publishing
Purchase: Amazon


I killed my first victim at thirteen years old – my age, not his. He was going to rape me, him and a couple of his friends. And so, I killed him. And then… I killed again. And again. At seventeen, I’m killing four to six times a year – maybe more. Don’t stress out. I only go after the pedophiles and rapists. There are more out there than I could cover in a lifetime. Saying I did this on my own would be selfish. Enforcing justice holds a glory all its own. But now, my lifelong friend and backup, Deegan, has been arrested. I have to decide if I want to give myself up and take his place or leave him with all the damning evidence. I don’t want to stop killing. But if I let him take the fall, I can’t kill anymore. And I need to keep doing that. But the worst part of it all? I love him.


There are people who know a lot about a little, we’ll call them experts. Then there are people, like Bonnie, who don’t specialize, but rather gather information like pebbles in their pockets and drop them like Hansel & Gretel in the stories they write.
The question is, do you want to follow them back?
Certified as a Radiologic Technologist, Bonnie prefers a touch of medical in her storylines. Don’t be surprised if romance somehow runs through a hospital or comes in contact with a paramedic. It’s just how she rolls. And you know there's nothing more romantic than an 18 gauge needle poking your vein!
She and her Hubs delight in dirt biking, snowboarding, fishing, cooking, eating, spending time together and more with their adorable children.

Have you read that blurb? Now tell me you don't want to read this. You can't? That's what I thought.

 "Killing someone didn't happen every day. At least not for normal people."

Ever since I have read that blurb I have been dying to read it. I had a high hopes for this book and I'm happy to say that it totally lived up to my expectations. I have always enjoyed reading thought-proving books that make me rethink my beliefs and values. What I value the most is a human life. I believe that there is no excuse for a murder, but this book showed me  things in life are not always white and black and sometimes it is really hard to distinguish between good and evil, right and wrong. 

Cassie was just an ordinary preacher's daughter until one day she was almost raped by a local douche-bag. That event changed her life forever. She wasn't the same girl anymore. That also was a start of her unusual relationship with Deegan, her partner in a crime-literally. During the year they were avoiding each other like a plague, only seeing one another nightly when they were running together. But at the  anniversary of their first kill, Deegan was always there to help Cassie get out of the trouble since she wasn't able to stop herself from killing again. For every victim they got a new tattoo, that was their little tradition  I found actually really cute. Yes, this book did something to me I cannot explain.

AM I PSYCHO FOR LIKING THIS SO MUCH? I think I don't wanna know an answer to that question, but maybe there is a psycho inside everyone that certain triggers might bring to life. That is my new theory. I believe everyone is capable of doing well and bad things and I really don't think anyone can judge other people for things they did, based on their limited beliefs about life.

It's easy to be judgmental when those horrible things are not happening to you. Put yourself in their shoes. What would you do if someone has raped or almost raped you? 

Cassie chose to take the law into her own hands since she was aware rapists and pedophiles somehow didn't get the real punishment. The justice is slow. What made me really sick was the fact that some of her victims were respected citizens, like that cop or sexual abuse therapist. 

What to do when something bad has  happened to you and law couldn't protect you? What if your own family didn't believe your story? How to trust anyone at all? I think the turning point for Cassie was when she experienced the feeling of relief of her friend Kari after she had found out about the death of her uncle pedophile. Suddenly she realized that her mission really helps the innocent victims and that only reinforced her decision to continue with the killing.

Another great thing in this book was an unique love story that stole my heart. Cassie and Deegan may not be a poster child for mental health, but I loved their twisted relationship.

Overall, this book is not for sensitive people, but if you enjoy reading suspenseful, thought-provoking stories with little romance to spice i up, I highly recommend reading this book. You can thank me later. :D

Favorite quotes:

I smiled at Deegan, who watched me with a territorial glint in his eyes. The thought that he considered me his, if only for the night, lightened me even more. I had no guilt, not for a few minutes. Not then. Not when we’d succeeded – again.

The preacher’s daughter stigma stuck like jelly. I’d never get away from it, even after my gradual metamorphosis. If I took drugs or slutted around, I’d still be the social pariah no one wanted to be seen with.

We froze, our eyes locked on each other. His hands lowered to my wrists and as if time waited on us, he slid my arms up to wrap around his neck, resting on his shoulders. Pulled forward, my chest grazed his when we breathed in and out. His hands fell to wrap around my waist.
Heavy-lidded, his eyes watched my lips. I couldn’t help licking my lower one with nervousness. His blue irises darkened. “Cassie.”
My own gaze had fallen under the spell of the soft curve of his upper lip. “Hmm?” My arms had lifted my shirt above the band of my pants. Where the heat of his fingers met my waist, my skin burned.
“Kiss me.” He lowered his head, his eyes closing.

The shame and fear that the men instilled in me had become almost addicting because shortly after they were dead and the power had shifted to me which made it even headier, like a rush one would get jumping from a plane but much more dangerous.

“You, doll. You’re the someone else. I can’t feel like this about you and really be with anyone else. Having a girlfriend holds the other chicks at bay. Plus, she doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t care. I can’t have you like I want, so I make it seem like I have what I want.”
I looked away. I didn’t understand why or how anything could keep two people apart when they cared for each other. His logic didn’t make sense to me. If I couldn’t have him, then wasn’t I in prison already? He came to me on the anniversaries. Worked with me. Helped me. We reached intimacy and fulfilled longings on the one date night we actually took together.

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  1. Okay. You did it, you made me check out this book. Wow. The premise is really awesome. I think this is my first time to come across a book where the "almost rape victim" became a psycho instead of a traumatized victim.

    Your review is really thought provoking you know. Most of the time, defining good and bad is really subjective. Some people would say that Cassie and Deegan's actions are good for ridding the world of bad people. While others would condemn them because they took the law in their hands. At the end of the day, who actually made the law? Hahahaha.

    Other cultures is okay with it while others are not. Sooo...yeah, confusing right?

    1. Yes, indeed. I love thought provoking books. In the end, each of us has his own version of what is good and what is bad.

  2. Wonderful review and quotes. Glad you enjoyed the story. And no, I don't think you're a psycho for liking it so much :)